Tuesday, July 07, 2009
11:27
Sky painting
I woke up early enough to see the sky change
from deep dark blue, to dusty purple, to streaky pale pink.
God must have a lot of fun doing that everyday.
When i see Him, i'd ask if i can draw in the sky too
And the 'first' day of the block creeps up
all too soon. Rachna seems nice and i just realized
that color&light is an architecture subject.
Call me crazy but i did enjoy today's lecture
And taking pictures of color symbolism & light
for assignment, doesn't sound like work at all
Now i'm just not really looking forward to
advertising.
Dear heart & soul, you need to come back soon.
Please stop galavanting in the mountains,
please stop living in the villages and with the children.
Your place is here and now, it is increasingly difficult
to do things without you. It is easy to mask your
absence for now, but sooner or later people are gonna realize
that you're gone.
Alright, next 24 hour stint starts right about now
Body i am sorry for the strain but,
you got to work with me here & hang in there.
You gave me love,
so empower me with the strength
to carry through.
--
You gave me love
That caused my heart to overflow
You gave me love
Much deeper than i've ever known
You have set my feet where i belong
Put within my heart a brand new song
You gave me love
Offered my life a brand new start
You gave me love
Sent straight from heaven to my heart
Further than the east is from the west
You've taken all my sin and brokenness
You gave me love
You gave me love
I can see better days ahead
Our land will dance again
Because of You
Voices will be heard with shouts of joy
You've done mighty things
Let the nations sing
You gave me love
You gave me love
____________________________________
Monday, July 06, 2009
11:02
The less i understand
Foreboding fatigue
way before i usually get tired,
should have been warning enough.
Stayed up to research more.
Woke up with a fever
Emailed the work over instead.
On days like this
I wish, you guys were around.
I don't have to say what's on my mind
I hardly do anyway
But, i know you understand my ways perfectly.
The short pauses that give away what i'm feeling or thinking,
often go unnoticed, successfully hidden.
Yet you'd catch it immediately and reach over with a hug
or chocolate/ icecream and
it makes my day whatever the case.
I miss these six amazing friends
Back to presentations.
In my life be lifted high
I know You're by my side.
--
Just when i think that i have got it figured out
You open my eyes and let me see that there's no doubt
That you've got it all in the power of your hands
It seems like the more i know, the less i understand
____________________________________
Sunday, July 05, 2009
23:59
Youth Sunday 2009
All blacks. Springfield dress
Macdonald's breakfast
Awesome time of praise & adoration
with a great team of brothers/sisters.
May it be pleasing, bringing joy to Your heart.
Today was refreshing for me,
in quite a couple of ways. Ministered to
Sentosa outing. It mostly rained
while we were there.
Pretty good time catching up
since almost everyone was there.
A few of us left earlier.
Jem & i arrived at hollandv early,
went to coffeebean.
Topsy turvey meal, Dessert first-
Pure vanilla instantly reminded me
of jamie neo.
Stories of one-of-a-kind art pieces.
Then we met liwei, deqi, karene and eunice
for dinner! Thai express, green curry, much love.
I really enjoy spending time with our
fellow teammates. Just listening, laughing
and thinking. Being the youngest is such a
refreshing change. I don't seem to have to say
very much; i take in and think a lot more,
which i really like to do.
My
INFJ nature at it's strongest aye
Perplexed. Tired. and daunted
by the week ahead.
I realized that i have so much school work to juggle
suddenly. Because of the lag time it takes to pass info,
my working space/time gets shortened extensively.
Please keep me in prayer.
It's really gonna be one challenge of a week
Reminder to self: Sunday banner making,
Sunday school montage,
July 24th prayer meeting,
Meeting with gerald,
Missions board.
--
You are my strength when i am weak
You are the treasure that i seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord to give up i'd be a fool
You are my all in all
____________________________________
Friday, July 03, 2009
23:59
Drawing tandem bicycles
Woke up pretty early
Wanted to draw something
Started on the usual flora and fauna
Then tandem bicycles randomly came to mind.
I learnt how to draw bicycle spokes.
Looking through pictures again
Floored by the beauty of the mountains
Miss the place terribly
I want to go back now
Met yahui & gloria to catch up
At swirl, over brownies and icecream.
We went back to sjcp to look at pictures
from Mae La Camp.
I really want to go in some time.
Deqi came down too and we laughed over
pictures taken a decade or two ago,
with mango smoothie in hand-
Much love to flo
Dinnered with Yahui, Gerry & Gloria
at westlake. We felt like their daughters
Was a good time talking about the trip,
their future plans, their wedding.
Highly sweet couple
So exciting, i can't wait to get started
on their guestbook
Miss our Karen friends
There is a faint chance that
i would do my FYP
in Thailand.
Write, draw, snap away, publish
Three months.
I want to go over to jamie's
with six of the most amazing people.
Watch some movie while sprawled
on her queen sized bed,
sleepover. And wake up
in the middle of the night for prata
Really gonna dread going back to
such a mess of a block/month
Somehow i feel so lost and there's this
sinking feeling that i won't be able to
catch up
--
Give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls
to another
God let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face
O God of Jacob
____________________________________
Thursday, July 02, 2009
23:17
Breakfast waffles
Met the bestfriend for breakfast
at waffletown. Just the way i like it
Slow mornings, with maple syrup
and ginger beer. Long talks about stuff.
I love my bestfriend
Iceage 3 with marcus & yj. Hilarious
The animation of the 3 baby dinos
was done by a singaporean-
Support our local designers ok!
Mommy has been brewing herbal soups,
teas and strange drinks for me.
Daddy has been convincing me to eat
a lot of fruits.
I feel like a hospital patient,
a very thankful & blessed one.
Liwei got me to listen to Jason Reeves-
'Photographs and Memories'
Acoustics
Add Thailand pictures to ipod
Go through lecture notes
Qt & so much more.
By the way, blogger won't let me post pictures
Thats why my thinking mode has been dominating-
Resulting in the perpetual lack of proper
paragraphs?
--
Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love
Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek your face
Drawn by the spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in your presence
Forever satisfied
____________________________________
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
11:59
Words will suffice
Morning:
Coming back lost
Somehow, i feel like i've left a part of
My heart in the village.
Between the sunrise and the mountains
In a child's pocket, in the mud somewhere
I want to go diving
We need to get our license first
There always comes a time when
Something makes you step right out of yourself
Traveling, being overwhelmed by creation
Relish that.
Maybe i'd disappear by myself
For awhile, to a southern beach
Write, draw, snap away
Slip into the water, dream
Fallen in love with pictures from liwei's rangefinder
I want a leica- It's a whopping 8000 bucks
In the near future i'd settle with a nice film camera.
That sinking feeling
When you're left hanging after praying
Not really knowing, but trusting
having to trudge on
I guess people call it faith
Patience is active waiting
When your words evade actions.
Afternoon:
I'm beginning to think that this is all an illusion,
Some kind of miscommunication.
Somehow, some things got tangled up along the way
And presented itself exaggerated,
fabricated out of nothingness.
Confused. Your facade scares me
I've fallen in love with the warm cinnamon melts
in macdonalds. Sugar overload after awhile,
but it makes up for one less meal a day.
Yes now i cannot stomach lunch & dinner
on the same day. It is either one or the other
Maybe because that's how we ate in thailand
One: I threw out a third of my closet today
I've got more space now.
I need to put back the stuff for keeps
Two: I suddenly decided to scan ferns, leaves
and other things for a graphic poster,
just watch me work :)
Three: I wanted to have deviled eggs
Put the eggs to boil, took out the box of bacon bits
The order of things happening in the above para
was all jumbled up and happening concurrently.
I think that's how most of our brains work really
I don't know why everyone else always seems so
organized and proper
The eggs were boiling while my clothes were still
strewn on my bed.
Then i decided to sit with mackie and open illustrator
while the clothes were still on my bed
It was 7 minutes so i went to turn the fire off
Folded the tees and placed them back
Went to peel the eggs
Came back and decided to scan part of an egg shell
Decided to write this.
Went back to mash the yokes and mix them with-
Onions, hot sauce & mayo;
Put my tops/ dresses back in the cupboard,
filled the eggs back in, reminds me of jacket potatoes.
Maybe tomorrow.
The rest of my clothes are still on the bed
Sprinkled bacon bits on and put the eggs in the fridge.
I'd get everything done before the day ends
like i always do, like everyone else does.
I don't type in proper paragraphs when
i am thinking.
Evening:
Did school work.
Lots of horrible drawing
So aloof and not with my work.
Thankfully meeting the bestfriend tomorrow.
I need to put the rest of the clothes back.
--
Lord, I love You
No matter what I see
No matter what I hear
No matter what may seem to be
Lord, I love You
No matter what I know
No matter how the winds of life may blow
This one thing I know-
that You are faithful
____________________________________
Monday, June 29, 2009
20:58
Mind still in quite a whirl-
Dearly missing the children and the place
Strange to not have my teammates around
Picture folder constantly left open
It's every hour or two that finds me replaying
Scenes from the past eight days in my mind
Wishing it was time to go back again
Praying that they stay safe
Gerry proposed to yahui in Thailand
In the quaint wooden house
Where we stayed for a month
Yes where you can see the mountains
And the midst, from the balcony every morning
She's getting married, sweet.
Aeroplane conversations just sunk in. Honestly, giddily happy
Yet, disbelieving
I want to hear it from you
So mad at how the block is turning out
Absolutely dread being behind in schoolwork
Whitewashed walls are crap
Compared to the majestic mountains and valleys
Thankful for all the support, care and concern
All the calls, messages and emails
Most of all for all the prayer
Surprise installed for you all
Give us a few weeks to put everything together,
Love
--
I saw what i saw and I can't forget it
I heard what i heard and I can't go back
I know what i know and i can't deny it
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what i'm afraid of
And what i know of Love
We've done what we've done and we can't erase it
We are what we are and it's more than enough
We have what we have but it's no substitution
Something on the road, touched my very soul
I say what i say with no hesitation
I have what i have and i'm giving it up
I do what i do with deep conviction
Something on the road, changed my world
Your pain has changed me
Your dreams inspire
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what i am afraid of
Your courage asks me what i am made of
And what i know of Love.
And what i know of God.
____________________________________
Saturday, June 27, 2009
23:59
So much

So much transpired within the eight days, i'm still slowly digesting every morsel. Reluctantly back & quarantined. A little surprised. Got to journal seriously. There is so much i've learnt, i've felt, i've seen that makes my head whirl just thinking about it. God moving so flawlessly in every situation, His sovereignty, guidance and protection. With the Karens, our hosts/local friends and teammates- the divine love and peace that binds us in perfect unity. The mountains, the valleys, the jungles. Once again i stand in awe of creation, of the majesty of our maker. If these things take my breath away, then i tremble to imagine the glory of our creator. I know He holds their future, i know and i've seen how he cares and provides for them. He has taught me and brought me deeper into understanding, what this is all about, where the focus is. How to make sense of it all. And this peace that transcends understanding allows rest. Surreal peace.
More when my brain is fully conscious.
--
Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom power and love
Our God is an awesome God
____________________________________
Thursday, June 18, 2009
21:31

Heh. Backpacks packed & we're finally going back. Surreal and oh :) . Back to the land with the mountains, the children, the mist, the smiles, the Lord working His miracles. Whether we'd be let into the camps, whether we'd see the people, doesn't matter so much anymore; although it will be such a joy if we do. What matters is that He is blessed, they are blessed. And really, just being used for His work, unworthy as we are. To see Him coming through, showing Himself strong, that's what i'm looking forward to within the next 8days. Keep the Karen Tribe & the team in prayer ok? Sudden influx of calls & messages in the evening, so encouraging. Much love people. Will take care. Check back with you guys after 192hours. love
--
For last minute crashing purposes-
Departure Flight Details
Date: 19th June
Time: 10AM(we'd be there), 12PM(plane takes off).
Terminal: 1
Flight: TGT 404
Arrival Flight Details
Date: 27th June
Time: 8pm+
Terminal: 1
Flight: TGT 404? i think :D
--
I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made
Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life
____________________________________
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
23:49
Wearing black

Sheesh, never did like wearing a lot of black. Really wasn't going to spend money on a black top, that i wouldn't wear again ever. So, pulled out the springfield black dress, hoping it'd suffice. Slightly more formal than 'smart casual' calls for but it's pure black, works. Met a few punctual people for dinner, before heading the long way back to church.
Songs were killer- E major. Can't begin to imagine how we'd do the doxology lol. Hands still slightly trembling from prac, low endurance. But the team was great & they really want to bring a pleasing sacrifice, which encouraged me a lot. Playing with the zontanos musicians & worship leaders this round for youth sunday, made me realize that the boys have improved a lot technically. I guess cause we don't play together often now, and suddenly playing with them again, you really see the difference. I like it how we all grew. :) Supper at macs.
Packing now. With encouragement from marcus, i've managed to sort out clothes and figure out i don't have shampoo in a small bottle lol. Need to stock up on chocolate, alpen & sleep! Back to stuffing ziplock bags..
--
WE ALL CRY FOR LOVE says: (11:47:44 PM)
take care ohkay sus
WE ALL CRY FOR LOVE says: (11:47:47 PM)
when youre at the border
WE ALL CRY FOR LOVE says: (11:47:53 PM)
i still want a best friend when im 90
I love my bestfriend. Miss the six most amazing people on earth.
--
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord
____________________________________
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
23:59
Morning

Morning- Shoot, shot, done with studio lighting. Headed down to print cover & met eric who just came back from his 2 week ireland stint. Super high speed conversations & encouragement. Went back up to hand the work in. Matthias was there and spoke to me about my photog & his coming show in august. It's gonna be about Burma, his pictures from the chain gangs and refugee camps. Made mental note to remember. Goodbye hugs from yy & sarah. Went to get stuff for the trip with my sister.
Yes, been missing the past few days. There are only 3 reasons why i skip journaling-
1) Something private/confidential is heavy on my mind & i don't want to divulge anything. 2) I'm dead tired. 3) No access to the internet/ not in sg. Think 2. --
Relentlessly trying to convince this tired body to pack. Not very successful. Always end up starting to pack 3 days before any trip, when there's no more choice but to make a huge mess of my room. Looks like crap in here ):
Suddenly realized that about 7 people have asked me what i am doing, within the last two hours. Resorted to copy and pasting from conversations. - Dear all, i am trying to pack, think of stuff for the church magazine & go through the songs for youth sunday.
Much love to all the encouraging people. You know who you people are + daph/clemmy/gloria on the tagboard. Love you all very much.
--
Jerald :) says: (12:05:20 AM)
sus
Jerald :) says: (12:05:37 AM)
they should create a new status for u
Jerald :) says: (12:06:05 AM)
"very busy"
lol
--
Lord, I love You
No matter what I see
No matter what I hear
No matter what may seem to be
Lord, I love You
No matter what I know
No matter how the winds of life may blow
This one thing I know-
that You are faithful
____________________________________
Thursday, June 11, 2009
10:59

Product of my divided mind. Thoughts seemed to have slipped into my work. Ughh colors always screw up on screen in cymk. Continue to keep the Karens in prayer please.
--
Horribly tired. Had playmax meeting & a good time with the churchies at mel's place as a farewell gathering for gwong. He's going in tomorrow morning, do keep him in prayer. Shooting tomorrow morning till p&p. Need to revise bgrcamp flyer again tonight. Truckloads of prayer please!
--
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold
And precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold
Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be Holy
Set apart for you Lord
I choose to be Holy
Set apart for You my master
Ready to do your will
____________________________________
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
20:39
What is wrong with the world?

Where is love now?
Mindless fighting.
--
Clashing Forces More Karens To Thailand
By SAW YAN NAING Monday June 8
|
"Ongoing attacks by a joint force of Burmese army and breakaway Democratic Karen Buddhist Army (DKBA) troops against the rebel Karen National Liberation Army (KNLA) Brigade 7 in southern Karen State have resulted in more than 3,500 Karen villagers from Pa-an District fleeing to Thailand since June 1 without sufficient food, shelter, clothing or medical care.
Emergency assistance for the new wave of Karen refugees is urgently needed, said Karen relief groups.
Several observers have said that the recent wave of attacks against the Karen rebels could be part of a strategy to divert attention from the ongoing trial of pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi in Rangoon. Others have speculated that the skirmishes are a belligerent response to the Thai government because of its public criticism of Burma’s handling of Suu Kyi’s trial.
Battalions of the DKBA and the Burmese army, also known as the Tatmadaw, have been reinforcing their troop numbers since early June and it is now estimated that about 9,000 armed soldiers—including an unknown number of porters—have amassed in strategic areas of Karen State in preparation for further military operations against KNLA Brigade 7, according to Karen sources.
Kavi Chongkittavorn, a columnist with the Bangkok-based English newspaper The Nation, reported on Monday that the ongoing attacks against the KNLA near the Thai-Burmese border were “timed to create chaos among Thai decision-makers,” perhaps indicating that Thai policy makers would be kept busy with the influx of Karen refugees on Thai soil.
In its current position as chairman of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations, Thailand had rebuked the Burmese junta for its trumped-up charges against Burmese opposition leader Suu Kyi. Burmese state-run newspapers angrily responded by accusing the Thais of interfering in Burma’s internal affairs.
The Nation columnist added that the military onslaughts also seem to have been designed to “drive a wedge in Thai-Chinese cooperation on Burma.”
Food, shelter, clothing and medical treatment are urgently needed as the Karen refugees could carry few belongings and are camped in the rain on the banks of the Moei River, with no proper shelter and little food. Some refugees are now hiding in jungle and will be at higher risk of diseases such as malaria as the rainy season commences.
Joint secretary 1 of the KNLA’s political wing, the Karen National Union (KNU), Maj Hla Ngwe, said that the offensive may be a part of a Burmese regime reaction to annoy Thailand.
He said the offensive is a signal that the Burmese regime does not seriously want to negotiate with the KNU and sign a ceasefire agreement.
David Thakapaw, the vice chairman of the KNU, said the offensive was a smokescreen to divert world attention from the trial of Suu Kyi.
He concurred that the offensive was an indication that the Burmese regime does not want to talk about a ceasefire with the KNU.
However, Thakapaw said that the KNU was ready to fight against the Burmese army if the regime does not want to talk about a ceasefire agreement with the KNU and establish national reconciliation.
In April, Thai Foreign Minister Kasit Piromya passed on a message to KNU leaders reportedly sent by Burmese Prime Minister Gen Thein Sein that Burmese authorities wanted to negotiate with the KNU.
After meeting with the Thai foreign minister, KNU leaders reported to Kasit that they had agreed to meet with the junta’s representatives.
However, there has been no further contact from the Burmese authorities since then, according to KNU sources.
Htay Aung, a Burmese researcher with the exiled Network for Democracy and Development, said the offensive would appear to be part of the Burmese regime’s military activities to pressure the KNU to disarm.
“The Burmese regime does not want the KNU to be stable, because they think that the KNU is the leading player among the Burmese opposition groups in exile. So, they are always trying to destroy the KNU in any way they can,” he said.
According to Karen human rights and relief groups, clashes between the armed factions occurred throughout the weekend of June 6-7, but started during the first week of May.
Poe Shen, the field director for the Karen Human Rights Group, confirmed that an estimated 3,500 Karen refugees had fled their homes and are now staying in Tha Song Yang district in Thailand’s Tak Province.
Saw Steve, of the Karen relief group Committee for Internally Displaced Karen People, said the DKBA was aggressively arresting villagers in its controlled areas and forcing them to serve as porters during the fighting.
The most recent attacks were being launched by Burmese battalions under Light Infantry Division 22 and DKBA battalions 999, 555 and 333, said the Karen sources.
Hla Ngwe said that further attacks and further displacement of Karen villagers were expected."
Join us in keeping the Karens in prayer. To think that there are still so many suffering at the Burmese side, in the jungles, whose cries are heard by none. Hopefully when we go down next week we'd be able to bring relief supplies. Keep the team in prayer too, situation at the border has worsened overnight. Tense. Thai military tightening security, we're within 4km of the fighting, there have been incidences of strayed shots & many refugee camps and roads are inaccessible.
--
It's gonna take determination, commitment and extraordinary measure of love, that only comes from above. Instinct to run, instinct to let it past the shields of faith. Having faith isn't ignoring bleak situations. This just hardens the heart, freezes it over. Standing up under it, loving in spite of. Just like the way You love me. Knowing that You will come through in all your wisdom and love. Strengthen me God.
I miss 7!, they don't have to say anything sometimes. Just having them beside me is comfort enough. Walking through stmarg's before the meeting the other day. So many scenes came flooding back. Past the basketball courts where we used to hide from LimHA/ trash the class at basketball , through the canteen where we found bobby chew, into the parade ground jumping with our massive olevel banner/ singing with a guitar, looking up to see the hall- the corridors where we waited patiently between olevel papers, up the stairs past the podium- the morning devotions, in front of the office where Mr anothony was always loitering, catching rule-breakers, looking down through the sec 4 level- our beautiful garden, walking on towards sjcp- the laughter of our cf girls, the hours of meetings/ camps/ hanging out/ jamming. There's just so much i miss. You never know what you've got till it's gone. Partially at least, i hate not being able to see 7! every week day of the week.
To-do-list: Revise BGRcamp flyer, Taipang's stuff.
Tomorrow: Shooting early in the morning, fly to church for playmax meeting, go over to mel's for gab's farewell. Oh tired sardines! ):
--
Hear the sound
The sound of the nations calling
Hear the sound
The sound of the fathers crying
Who will go for us
Who will shout to the corners
Of the earth
That Christ is King
We speak to nations
Be open
We speak to nations
Fall on your knees
We speak to nations
The kingdom is coming near to you
Oh we speak to strongholds
Be broken
Power of darkness
You have to flee
We speak to nations
The kingdom is coming near to you
We speak to you
Be free be free
Hear the sound
The sound of the nations worshipping
Hear the sound
Of sons and daughters singing
We will go for you
We will shout to the corners of the earth
That Christ is King
____________________________________
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
23:59
just want to sleep.
--
Made me smile to come back to smiling faces, "Sus are you alright? Heard you had a headache and fever?", "Sus you're back!! How was church camp?" & "SUSSSSSSSSS!!" *runs over with a bear hug*. Classmates were terribly sweet. Had meeting right after class. Overhaul of plans. The recent shootings meant that some roads are cut off. IDPs fleeing over the border, up to date about 3200 of them have crossed into thailand. Misfiring of shots. Gonna see if we can raise funds.
Highly tired. One thousand and one things to do in this week/weekend.
1) Talk to parents about the recent shootings & increased risk for the trip.
2) Finish the BGR camp flyer in time for playmax
3) Finish up last bits of taipang's work
4) Call playmax group members.
5) Submit H1N1 form to school
6) Finish studio lighting
7) Do something about Malaria pills
Haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep from one week before church camp until now. So throughly zombified. Hopefully supper at hongkong cafe with gloria and jem would keep me up through the night to work on the flyer. Shooting early tomorrow. Anarchy. Please please keep me in prayer.
--
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
____________________________________
Sunday, June 07, 2009
23:40

Have a beautiful weekend; we did.
--
Back from church camp! After four whole days of fun madness, i'm pretty glad to be back. Nevertheless, it was an eventful camp. Sessions were thematically streamlined to equip us to effectively breakthrough in the spirit. Our speaker Ian Peters was very dynamic and different. I've honestly never been such a rapt listener before. Mel made a point about his prophetic edge becoming words of knowledge. Was throughly intrigued by the biblical yet practical and real side he took as he addressed certain things. De-spooky-fying the supernatural as he likes to call it. Learnt much.
Also had a great time catching up with churchies, and getting to know the young herd of bb boys who joined us. Apparent lambs under the care of our older churchies/ officers. Really wasn't in a 'i am a photographer mood' so i left my dear dslr in the hotel room most of the time. I know you people miss my efficient photography, now you have to wait for jem/ uncle CH who both take eons to upload pictures haha. I'm counting on hengkah, he's usually pretty quick with his post-production.
--
Tagboard
Cressilda: Hey cress, haven't seen you in ages :\
Jem: Olivia.
Bings: Yes i know bings, let us know the exact dates alright? :) Phileo!
Shaun: Haha God's Gang! GG lol. I love the GG sticker. Alvan has it on his bass and got a similar reaction from his friend too lol!
Clement: Clemmy! I miss GG too, we need a full gathering! June, let me know! I'd be away from 19th to 27th though. Finally going back to thailand! :D
--
Had a defining time of prayer during alter call, with chari. I told her before the camp that this was the most searing issue for me, the one i was/and have been praying for a breakthrough in. Something i've shared vaguely with my cell; 3 close friends know extensively about. We both had this heavy on our hearts. During the time of ministry, it just all came up like vomit. Bitter, sour carrying so much heartache and pain. And as we struggled, held each other, cried and ministered to each other, aunty agnes prayed for us. God assured me of His heart & His love, so clearly. Such a thick lingering of his presence, it brought unexplainable peace. Prophesy over this, about coming through this issue as gold. Looking forward to that, so much. After hitting singapore, things came flying in like plates of whipped cream. Caught off guard for about 20 minutes, before meeting zongren and getting a grasp of reality. Which did put a smile on my face. And then rebound! God is good and it is well with my soul.
Meeting nick at 9AM, please pray that i can last through the week!
So very encouraged by marcus ng, yan yi(yy) & shaun. Thanks guys you really made my day when i came back to sg!
--
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't see how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see Him
Remember you're never alone
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart
Trust His heart
He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hand
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry
He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
____________________________________
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
23:43
Offset

Shields not up.
--
Long long day, consultation with taipang. Then excursion to the printer's. Which was pretty cool. Went back to get the stuff for mission trip meeting. Met gloria for dinner, dapao-ed for the rest. Very tired and was getting quite irritable after stuff after stuff that was, well not very nice. Just got quite irked until it sudden occurred to me that all this things at one go transcended past our physical eyes. Then shields went up, diluted irritation and eventually smothered it. Still draining nevertheless. Sam's birthday, island creamery ice-cream cake! Gerry's really good at the whole skit thingy, thank God for his guidance. Took 153 back with gloria, haven't done that in ages.
--
Got to pack & get taipang's work out tonight ): Prep for youth item tomorrow. Do keep us in prayer, pretty much drained already.
--
Pour your spirit over me
Let your love rain down
Won't you take these hands of mine
And use me
Pour Your spirit over me
Let your love rain down
Won't you take these feet of mine
And lead me
____________________________________
Sunday, May 31, 2009
23:47

Do what you love, that's what everyone says?
We seriously need a friends-of-7! gathering. We'd invite those who have invested so much into 7! like yahui, eunice, pris, pastor glenn. Catch-up with our mentors. Dinner with churchies was pretty good, good food in pp for once lol
--
I cannot wait to get over with the first half of this week lol. After talking to marcus today, i feel like shopping! ahaha. Sleepy sleepy, shooting early tomorrow i hope we can get our diffused lighting asap! Reminder to self: Get today's gdop songs from pris.
Option tomorrow. God you decide.
--
Lord we have seen the rising sun, awakening the early dawn,
And we´re rising up to give you praise.
Lord we have seen the stars and moon, see how they shine,
They shine for you,
And You´re calling us to do the same.
So we rise up with a song, and we rise up with a cry
And we´re giving you our lives.
We will shine like stars in the universe,
Holding out Your truth in the darkest place.
We´ll be living for Your glory,
Jesus we´ll be living for Your glory.
We will burn so bright with Your praise O God,
And declare Your light to this broken world.
We´ll be living for Your glory,
Jesus we´ll be living for Your glory.
____________________________________
Saturday, May 30, 2009
23:41

much love, ashley too :)
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Friday, May 29, 2009
23:59
Paths

Had really bad cramps today. Worship night was a highlight. Just praising Him and realigning myself. Listening. Still very troubled about option. Prayed with rena about it. Her wisdom and testimony encouraged me volumes. Monday is catching up with me.
Supper-ed with the churchies. Getting to know mel's new friends. Shaun came over to talk & rant. Both of us ranted about the many things we were going through. It's hard. I appreciate shaun as a friend that is objective and trustworthy. It's really not easy to live as believers. Really need to cover everyone with prayer. The guys are running the adidas sundown marathon tomorrow, do keep them in prayer. And guys please take care of yourselves, drink enough water. Whole day of stuff on tomorrow, zombified.
--
You take control God.
--
Lord i offer my life to You
Everything i've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord i offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord i offer You my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You
____________________________________
Thursday, May 28, 2009
23:56

self-explanatory.
--
Shenna was the first person i met this morning. It was like meeting an angel. She has this very soothing vibe. Hugs in the morning, good start to the day. Shooting this morning was pretty quick. Running up and down to look for cheeyong was the only tedious thing. Cleared cast shadow & direct swiftly. Flew off for meeting early. Met yahui & the aunty flo's to discuss wedding deco! Hilarious time, with my dear oh mentors who had countless ideas and resources. Jem bought us dinner and chocolate. Dinnered around the reception area as usual. Meeting was eventful- gerry revised basic karen with us. Yahui revised songs. We spoke about logistics, danced & took a turn at the crafts. Gloria left early ):
On the way back in the car, jem & i were talking about option again. I don't know how it came up, but it just made me aloof outside and very confused & frustrated inside. Every time i think i know, i think i have decided, but. Ughhhh, i really need prayer. Monday is approaching. Nick finally got through & delivered some good news that we aren't shooting tomorrow. Time to rest and pray.
--
I know this decision is important, and i want to pick what You know is best. God please lead, and assure me. So help me. So tired.
--
If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing i don't know
Is part of getting through
I try to do what's best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing i can do
Is put my trust in You
For You know better than i
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than i
____________________________________
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
23:59

seems like option is giving everyone a headache.
--
We got our rim lighting perfected within 2 shots. Chee yong grinned and told us to quickly tear the setup down before the other group arrived lol. Apparently ex 4&5 was designed to teach us patience. 3 more pictures to take! We can surely finish studio lighting before i leave, thank God. Now to worry about pixel.co & outside work.
Eric's leaving for ireland tomorrow evening, but duty calls- thailand meeting. Spoke to him before i left today, stay safe buddy. Meeting yahui earlier to discuss wedding stuff tomorrow. Quite tired, hopefully will last through till meeting ends. So many things to do & i need to carry kai down.
--
Sometimes i really __________.
--
Strength of Your grace
____________________________________
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
21:18
Peek

it's like trying to peer through a bouquet of flowers; you see something soft, pretty and pastel but its real beauty is so much more to behold.
--
Nick came in bright & early with a bag of famous amos cookies to share. "Suss!! I'm here early!" beams. It always makes me happy when people are early/on-time in the design school. You hardly ever get that. However, the morning was gone after nick, ying & i went to look for cheeyong lol. After spending less than 15minutes talking about our work, we were drawn into a conversation about life, photog as a career. Cheeyong's journey in photog, techniques, working etiquette, life. We asked our honest questions about practicality & further studies, his answers gave us a whole lot of new insight into the industry. Very inspiring, and encouraging especially in view of our pending option selection. Even ying who ruled out photog, said that after hearing all that, she also felt inspired to do photog lol! At the end, a lot of what he said still boils down to what zhou has been urging us to do- follow your heart & work hard! We spent more than 2 hours talking to him lol. After a few more shots at silhouette, we got it approved and went down for lunch.
B.A.M meeting after we were done with photog. Met zpgy downstairs, meeting was pretty quick and effective. All brains in high gear, critical thinking, strategizing. With this bunch of immensely talented people, plus all the favor you can possibly have, it's BAM for the win! We'd unveil more about this business venture slowly, as everything falls into place. Getting myself into quite a bit of nonsense these days aye- business, magazine publication, agreeing to teach guitar, dream FYP book, running away to malaysia in the middle of term lol. I just hope everything falls together nicely. Then i shake my head & wonder how this ties in with- "God, this time i just want to lie low and have a peaceful time(in design school)". His plans are far above what i can comprehend, but i know i'm in good hands.
Sign #1 received after praying yesterday night?
--
Tired tired.
--
I live for You
All of my days belong to You
You draw me to Your tenderness
You make me new
Into the secret place
I will run
Where my heart can be free
In the grace that i've found
Unto You
Be all glory and grace
How my heart seeks your face
As i'm waiting on You
Only You
Are my strength and my tower
Fill my life with your power
As i send here in awe of You
I stand here in awe of You
____________________________________
Monday, May 25, 2009
23:59
Swim the ocean

dare to try the ocean?
--
Threw myself out of bed at about 5AM this morning. It was very cold, bathing made it worse, and my brain was still fast asleep. So running solely on vibe-pilot, i wore my maroon thai wrap pants, a black tee, took the peacock/gold leafy long necklace. Awesome for airport conditions, horrible for the outside sweltering singapore heat. Grabbed olivia, wallet, phone, ipod & keys before stumbling down to the airport. Sent the dual off with a couple of others. Had breakfast with aunty agnes, uncle henry, uncle alan & vincent. Mini thai-trip update lol. Amazingly had all my stuff on hand. Uncle alan gave me a lift to school lol
Reached there close to 2 hours early. Helped yy & group with their silhouette lighting. When nick came, we also managed to get our silhouette lighting, finally! Was starving, flew down to mensa with nick. Mag joined us for lunch, grilled fish with butter herb sauce mm. Met ariz & their clique outside the LT before option-briefing, he asked me the most unexpected thing- it made me laugh so hard. "Sus sus! Ehh, you know the diocese 100 year thing?", "Rizzz! yeah why?", "You want to join the choir? Clement & i might be going! Come with us ok!", "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA... sorry i never expected that to come from you. Mm see how la ok lol!". Aiya, you must know ariz for it to be funny, lol. Did take my mind off option for quite a bit.
Then we had the dreaded vsc year2 cohort option-briefing. Well, i'm still quite hesitant but nevertheless it was a huge encouragement hear so many people unanimously assume my choice. I never knew people noticed it, much less thought of it as my major. & I would never have even considered doing that as a major, while in first year. Now it's whether or not i dare to take a leap of faith or fall back on a safer route, ughh gonna pray. Rather defining decision.
Shenna's continual raving about the frozen cheesecake created in me an unfulfilled cheesecake-shaped vacuum :(
--
The Good or The Best?
If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left —Genesis 13:9
As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and physically gratifying possibilities will open up before you. These things are yours by right, but if you are living the life of faith you will exercise your right to waive your rights, and let God make your choice for you. God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the appropriate thing to consider, if you were not living the life of faith. But if you are, you will joyfully waive your right and allow God to make your choice for you. This is the discipline God uses to transform the natural into the spiritual through obedience to His voice.
Whenever our right becomes the guiding factor of our lives, it dulls our spiritual insight. The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best. In this passage, it would seem that the wisest thing in the world for Abram to do would be to choose. It was his right, and the people around him would consider him to be a fool for not choosing.
Many of us do not continue to grow spiritually because we prefer to choose on the basis of our rights, instead of relying on God to make the choice for us. We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eyes focused on God. And God says to us, as He did to Abram, ". . . walk before Me. . ." ( Genesis 17:1 ).
How apt.
--
Ughhhhh. Highly want to binge or get some retail therapy during this nerve-wrecking period of deliberation. Carl's beef-fries, gelare waffles, my fatface necklace or fatface cream colored sweater. 4/3 far-left-section-of-the-class reunion at the end of the week! lol. Steamboat! I can't believe it's only monday.
--
Won't You Lord take a look at our hands
Everything we have, use it for Your plans
Won't You Lord take a look at our hearts
Mould it, refine it as You set us apart
____________________________________
Sunday, May 24, 2009
21:42
Rain

But if that is what it takes to praise You.
--
Pastor's induction today :) Super high anglican lol, but a very eventful service. Cell was exceptionally good today? At least, that was what i felt. I guess it's the first time i let them into what i was really feeling and contending with. And to hear that it isn't just me, and to hear how they coped with it, loving the unlovable. Some stuff daren & chinyi shared, did encourage me. And everyone was serious & real about the breakthroughs they wanted. Real about what they struggled with. It did bond the cell on a different level, a sense of accountability? And i really respect them for their courage, honesty & hunger for God. TAG :)
--
And so i think to myself- what is strength? Strength to press on, strength to get over disappointment. Strength to hold on. Strength that comes from You alone. I know that contrary to popular belief- i am not strong. I know i hide a fragile heart and a wealth of emotions. But every time like this, when my spirit is so weighed down, and i come crawling back to You with tears and a broken heart. You never fail to assure me of Your love & sovereignty. It's beautiful every time, how much You care, how much You know, how much You understand. And i can only stand grateful & amazed that a God so powerful would care. And this is where standing up begins, again.
--
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
____________________________________
Friday, May 22, 2009
23:53
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ZHOU!

Love, zpgy!













Highly happening celebration lol. Ying & jolyn kidnapped her after dinner and brought her to east coast where the rest of us set up the tents, decorated the place etc. Ate, played board games, built sand castles, tickled people, lit candles, sang songs, talked until the next morning. Was dozing off at about 5am lol, eh but i caught what they said about my major! The unanimous guess woke me up. Macs breakfast at about 6am. Crashed ying's place, showered and slept till 10+. Then we left for school.
Got awesome news in the evening that- out of the 3 of ZPGY that ran for the elections, all got into the main comm & made a grand sweep of the top 3 positions! Mr President: Eric, Ms Vice-President: Ying ying, 3rd highest vote: Jiahui! So so proud of them. We seriously need to celebrate with them soon. Lead by example, be exemplary in conduct, wise in the face of anarchy, slow to anger, abounding in love! Love you guys! Today was really a rather eventful day :) Thank you God. Went for p&p and supper after that. Apel tomorrow morning, then swimming at aunt's- i will get my nice brown color back!
--
Somehow..
--
So lead us on in your journey
The road that sets us free
In our abundance and our time of need
It is Your grace that we will see
If God is for us, who can be against us?
If God is for us in His love we'd trust
In all of these things God works for our good
There's no need to fear
When God is for us.
____________________________________
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
23:18
Grace & favor

More than i could hope or dream of.
--
Talk about being so blessed! You guys know what? With nick & ying, group 7 is done with 3 out of 5 exercises we need to complete within the month. It's like 3 days into the first week? lol. Over lunch, cheeyong came to chat with us, told us to relax lol, but he explained the next exercise to us anyway. Our aim was actually to finish everything before i leave for church camp in the third week, but at this rate i really believe we'd be able to finish everything in the 2nd week lol. Thank God for the smooth completion of these, most groups are still lingering at ex 1.
Wilson taught me a new route back home just now lol. Apparently you can stop after the bus turns at the junction and take 107 or 853. I never knew that! And it's pretty fast, lol.
--
Looking forward to the short breather tomorrow morning. 2 meetings in the evening. Would have gone with marcus & jem to tecman but i'd need to be in sjcp at 5.30pm. After marcus heard about my plans for the day-
[c=35][b]Marcus[/b][/c] says: (10:29:57 PM)
SUS, you are a busy girl
[c=35][b]Marcus[/b][/c] says: (10:29:59 PM)
its okayy (:
[c=35][b]Marcus[/b][/c] says: (10:30:19 PM)
I won't intrude into your day
lol, marcus marcus! I'm glad the guys are suddenly taking an interest in books :) More BGR camp stuff to settle, and pack stuff and sleep :D Finally! Dead beat.
--
Just let me say how much I love You Let me speak of Your mercy and grace Just let me live in the shadow of Your beauty Let me see You face to face And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth And the heavens can tremble and fall But let me say how much I love You O my Savior, my Lord and friend
Just let me hear Your finest whispers As You gently call my name And let me see Your power and Your glory Let me feel Your Spirit's flame Let me find You in the desert 'Til this sand is holy ground And I am found completely surrendered To You, my Lord and friend
So let me say how much I love You With all my heart I long for You For I am caught in this passion of knowing This endless love I've found in You And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found To be called a child of God Just makes me say how much I love You O my Savior, my Lord and friend Just makes me say how much I love You O my Savior, my Lord and friend | |
|
____________________________________
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
21:29
What do you see?

There's our physical eyes, those see mountains, flowers & people. Then there's our spiritual eyes, those see faith, hope, the need for love. Often defying logic surpassing understanding, it results in peace. I wonder why it's so complicated sometimes. Doesn't everyone get tired of driving themselves crazy? What do you see?
--
It was just nick & i today. Ying was sick, hope she's better tomorrow. Managed to get everything ready, all studio equipment working. Position of everything marked out with masking tape. Cheeyong went through lighting basics again because not everyone was in our first class. Almost fell asleep, saved by camelle's fish&co mints haha. Gonna work on taipang's stuff now- 'motion & nostalgia'. Pixco's pretty practical & useful, and we don't have school on thursday because of the senior's grad! Leaps for joy. 9AM shooting with nick & ying. And since it's gonna be with me for a month, i'm naming the D200 olivia, she'd be oliver's good friend for this month.
To think that after a year of changes every 4 weeks, i'd have gotten used to it. Still adapting to the schedule. Studio lighting requires us to work severely over time in the studios. It's like having 3 modules. And hopelessly nothing to eat from 9AM-6PM. I'd bake, if i wasn't so tired. Having said that, now i know why jiahui told us it'd be good to have guy on the team- to help with the heavy equipment. Thank God for nick.
--
I wonder if there's time to grab icecream from island creamery on thursday. Miss that.
Full day of shooting tomorrow & taipang's lessons after that. Do keep me in prayer.
--
Into Your hands, I commit again
All I am for You Lord
You hold my world in the palm of Your hands
And I am Yours Forever
Jesus, I believe in You
Jesus, I belong to You
You're the reason that I live
The reason that I sing
With all I am
I walk with You, wherever You will go
Through tears and joy I'll trust in You
And I will live, In all of Your ways
And Your promises forever
____________________________________